Love~Fear~Courage

2012-01-10T00:26:00.001+08:00

Pain.

I'm in Pain.

Physical PAIN.

I just hate this PAIN

It restricts me.

I binds me.

Pain.

2012-01-08T10:31:00.002+08:00

9 weeks have passed since I first entered national service.

New friends were made, Memories were made, Injuries suffered.

But through it all I survived.

I honestly think that I am really not an active person.

And no matter what happens I only do what is necessary,

But up till now I still can't seem to do pushups,

It really hurts... and well I dunno how I'm gonna survive unit life...

I've got bout 7 days of rest and I'm definitely going meet 5 group of friends.

123<3

3b11

Taurus Platoon 2 Section 2

HRH

Girl~Friends

HAHA is 7 days even enough?

POP lo!

2012-01-07T20:30:00.002+08:00

I'm graduated from BMT...

It really is damn fast and that they do say BMT is the best time of your NS.

Reason = 0 responsibility

NS is just another job in a different environment once you get posted to a unit.

But seriously working in a job that I've got no passion for really stinks.

But it's ok I'll still try my best to stay alive!

I never thought I would complete my 24km route march.

Honestly halfway I was already crying and thinking of giving up.

Than I heard Lionel tell me stop acting weak....

It just spurred me on for my next few steps !

And the only moti moti motivation I had was from knowing that during the Graduating Parade

A lot of my family and friends will be there to watch me!

I have no self pride, I do it for them, not me.

2011-12-31T17:24:00.002+08:00

One more week and I am out of BMT!

It's been real quick and I'm thankful non of the injuries I have sustained during BMT will kill me

A few of it will stick with me for the rest of my life...

But overall I'm good!

I completed my 16 km road march...

Now all that's left is 24km and Graduation Parade!

I just hope I stay healthy enough till next saturday!

Woot!!!! POP lo!

Haiz I'm gonna miss the friends I've made that much I'm sure...

But life goes on ...

Just when you think everything's over, Life comes back to kick you in the nut!

2011-12-23T20:39:00.004+08:00

Before I knew it 20 days have passed since I last blogged...

I shall start by saying Army has taught me how to feel pain,

From chest pains to sprained ankle to injuring some of the tendons and now a 40 degree fever.

Is this like a test from god to how much shit my body can take ?

Or is it to test how strong my mind is ?

The pure capabilities of pushing my body to the limits!

To exceed a new level of threshold!

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! That's what my Platoon Commander said anyway..

But seriously I really feel damn fucked up especially with this fever that doesn't go down at all.

One of my bunkmate commented " Its not your body that's weak, its your mind thats weak"

So I guess mind over body hence my weak mind is causing me to crash...

But seriously I really dun feel as fit as the rest of the people in my batch...

Guess I should have gone for PTP instead of enhanced with Taurus which broke me.

I fell out of field camp ... even though it was the most slack camp there was.

I almost had to recourse the whole of BMT.

But thanks to the support of my whole platoon i managed to push myself beyond my limit!

And I passed my IPPT thus qualifying me for Attended BMT!

POP on 7 JAN...

Can't foresee my near future but one thing is for sure I'm definitely gonna try to recover as much as possible!

Endure all that comes at you

Persevere through all the hardships

Tolerate all the bullshit people throw at you

Only that will you stand above the rest as the superior one!

2011-12-04T11:31:00.002+08:00

Listening to my various playlists makes me feel better.

My soul really grooves to the bass the sadness the emotions.

But I really wanna hear all my playlists while I'm in army...

Give me some internet and I'll be way way way happier! Haha!

Manga I can always read in one shot I have no problem with that ....

But without music life really seems damn boring....

Army songs just don't have the spirit.

It's just words without meaning...

2011-12-03T23:40:00.002+08:00

I hate having so little time to myself...

Just having so little time for my M&M sickens me! Even when I was working full time full shift,

I could still dig out time for my friends for my activities.

I could always control parts and parcels of my life,

but know I locked away in a jail cell for 1 year and 10 months,

Serving a sentence that will only end in 21 more months...

Freedom is something I treasure a lot,

I only one to be tied down to things I choose to be tied down to.

Freedom. I want it back!

2011-12-03T18:52:00.000+08:00

Next week's Field Camp and GRENADE LOUD LOUD...
All my high key events are passing so quickly ...
Thanks to all the medication i'm on i'm recovering but I don't know if it's fast enough for me to survive field camp.
I'm really damn worried I won't be able to last the whole field camp cause of how weak I am...
Haiz....

On a side note I failed IPPT again cause of 2.4 km run...
My fatal weakness of poor breathing has come back to haunt me again...
Oh god and stop giving me new injuries.
A sprained ankle is really killing me...

I miss all my friends other than yi ling and flora I haven seen the rest of you for more than 1 month...

Longing makes the heart fonder
It aches for you so

NS life so far

2011-11-26T12:25:00.002+08:00

My life has been a cycle of 0530 - 2230 for the past three weeks,

I've never felt so weak and pathetic ever.

Maybe cause i've never really worked out seriously,

But the number of injury i've sustained are really demoralising.

From head down I can feel my felt shoulder, my lower back, my right lower leg...

Haiz really sucks big time I swear...

I have already visited the medical center 3 times...

3 god damned times to see my various aliments but to no avail....

This whole week I was just recovering from fever after getting an excuse to skip PT which is why I managed to book out in one piece...

The next 2 weeks will determine whether I pass or fail BMT....

6km route march in FBO, Field Camp, Official IPPT, Live Range...

HOLY SHIT!

HAHA ... Honestly I want to Pass out with my current section mates...

They are all really nice to me and help me out on the days when I feel my weakest,

When I have High fever, When I have chest pains and breathlessness, When my limbs are just numb, just to name how useless I am when I'm in camp...

My Commanders are all very nice too!

Without their support I would not even be able to survive this long...

I really want to be together with everyone on 7 January to Pass out of BMT...

Haiz....

NS is inspiring

2011-11-06T16:17:00.000+08:00

Looking at all my platoon mates who have buff bodies.
I feel really inferior as compared to them!
I feel even worst after the orientation run when I realised most of them would have passed with ease.
I pass nafa through pure perseverance !
I retook it 3 times before I finally hit the passing mark of 12.20
After which I collapsed at the stadium for quite sometime to recover.

I didn't cheat, I entered the enhanced batch solely with my own abilities.
Therefore I shall trust in the training.
I shall try my best to get my IPPT gold by end of BMT
But I will need all the encouragement I can get.
As well as advice from anyone who will give it to me.
I will survive the 9 weeks and emerge a man.

Dear belly please shrink! You are too huge and is weighing me down!

I need a clear head to pack all my stuff!
Oh god bless me with some focus! Thanks!!! :)

2011-11-02T01:39:00.000+08:00

Ok a short post to sum up my feelings.

I have finally bought everything I needed for my confinement week!
I have shaved my crown of glory.
*Tears run down the length of my heart*
No more crown of glory!
It is my reminder that for 2 years I will be involved in lots of training!
Tons of training to build me up mentally and physically!

Another quite saddening news is that quite a few of my friends think I look nicer without my crown of glory!
I'm like WTH! Haha it was my pride and joy.
Everytime before going out at least 15 min will be spent turning it into an artwork.
An Artwork using the technique called hair sculpting!

I have decided to keep a diary while I'm on Tekong to keep my emotions in check.
And part of the dairy shall be posted up here.
Probably just the rants and emotions that will be expressed here.

NS days are coming! In 30+ hours I will be a jail bird training to be a phoenix !
I will survive. I will come out stronger!

Days go by
Time flows by
One will get caught in the flow of a river
The current will sweep you into another stage of life
Till Forces Abb
Till currents turn to ripple
Till ripples return to the eternal calm

2011-11-01T01:50:00.001+08:00

Thanks you all my friends for all your well wishes!
For the first time replying birthday messages can be so fun!
Cause I know all of you put your heart into wishing me a good birthday! And a good year ahead!
Most of you would have known by now that I'm enlisting thursday!
And that I have a extreme fear of NS.
Why I don't know... but when I received all of your encouragements that I'll be fine it really makes me damn happy!
And it will be the strength that carry me through the tough times ahead.
I will do my best and like I told someone:

I'll nature my manliness when I'm in NS!

Well with that much said I really hope I can do it!

Thank you all of you!
Really appreciate it! Love y'all!
Waynenow20 ;)

2011-10-30T03:13:00.002+08:00

I'm alone blogging in the dark.
I dunno why but I just have the inspiration to say things right before I sleep.
Lately i've been thinking a lot about ns.
It's gonna be 2 years of my life :(
I've seen so many people change after entering army.
I wonder how I'll fare.

Will I change?

Will my current friends still be my friends even if I do change?

If I do change for better or for worst?

I really don't know...

On another note I'm so touched I received another handmade card for my Birthday!
It really means a lot to me :)

Finally just a rant.
Damn you people out there with partners who love and cherish you.
Please don't be a control freak!
Life's a give and take ! So is a relationship no one takes forever without giving!

Honestly I have not been in a relationship so I do not know how it's like when souls connect.
When hearts are laid bear with only the deepest darkest secret kept in the heart.
But I do not like to see my friends cry. I do not like to see them hurt.
Please cherish what you have. Don't regret only after you've lost him/her.

I don't know what to feel anymore.

2011-10-29T02:45:00.002+08:00

Ok my time before NS is almost over.

My tribute to my friends have been posted.

My last month was definitely not well spent.

Too many disappointments. Too many times.

I really wanted to go clubbing to go wild to go mad.

But it didn't happen. For the whole month of october nothing happened.

What I am quite happy about would defintely be my 2 Birthday celebrations :)

Really awesome shit!

Food food and more food.

Eating makes me happy and it really blows my budgets no joke!

I really wanted to go mad... I really did but now's too late. Too late.

No one can bring back my lost time.

Live with it. That's all I can say.

To all my dear friends

2011-10-26T14:08:00.000+08:00

This is to all who have shown me love and been my friend.

Once a friend always a friend.

I shall go in order of how I met you all,

Ladies/G~Fs

My dear ladies before we knew it, it has already been 4 years since we first met, nope this is not a joke it truly has been that long. Before you all I never really had a friend. My very existence was quite pitiful but nevertheless all of you chose to be my friends and it’s something I will never forget.

Yi Ling was the first of the 3 of you that I met. It was the first day of my first job after being forced by my mum to work after O levels and I was at the counter right beside you. After that it was prata at the shop where MR TEH TARIK is now. It’s here that I got to know Flora who also accepted me for who I was and finally after going out a few times I met Yu fang.

From that time we have met up time after time for all of our birthdays and for Xmas :) The many random movies we’ve watched food we ate and drinks we drank those were all extremely fun times that we have had together.

I really hope that this friendship we have will be enduring and last no matter how much our lives have changed and deep inside I have a feeling we really will be friends even when we are all forced to wear dentures and when no beauty product can restore us to our prime ;)

Thank you for being my friend.

123

My dear 123 you’re the second group of friends who brought light into my life. The second group of people who have accepted me for who I am and all of you have selflessly pulled me through my Poly life and not only that you have all always given me something to look forward to every Friday.

Almost every Friday in my poly life during and up till year 2 has been TGIF thanks to all of you.

My memories rusty regarding how we really bonded but I will never forget the times we had playing L4D, of the times at MR TEA @ SMU playing monopoly, Minds Café, Marina Barrage, ECP the list goes on and on and probably never end and to me that’s a good thing cause it means we are creating memories together forever, well forever is probably too long a word maybe for the rest of our lives as really good friends is more practical well haha.

I will never forget how you all cheered me on and well coached the really childish and immature me through my first few crushes which led to the well slightly more mature me ;)
Well it may have seemed I have drifted a little from you all but there’s always a part of me that belongs with you all.

Thank you for being my friend.

Year 3

Ok calling this group of friends year 3 does all of them no credit cause they really come from 2.2 and some from 2.1 but I finally decided to call them year 3 because they are the third group of friends I have.

Being with different groups of friends has all the different feelings to it. Being with you all makes me the most relaxed because all I need to do is follow and someone will make the decisions.

Being with all of you really makes everyone’s birthday feel really important cause it’s really the group I spent the most money on… Presents and cake is really expensive haha!!!

The time we’ve had together has mostly been birthdays celebrations the other times are at hangout café and Mind’s café trying to outwit each other at all the games we play. Other times are movie and chilling at starbucks somehow it’s always the place we end up at. But in the end the heart to heart chats have always been ‘heartful’ and have always been fun who else can I talk I LOVE DISNEY to?

I will never forget all the fun times we had as a class disturbing Benny and how we competed during exams and projects it’s what made my 3^rd year in poly so colourful :) Let’s make more wonderful memories :)

Thank you for being my friend.

Well this 3 groups may be the majority of my friends but there are a few others I wanna give thanks to I shall not elaborate much but to me each one of you is just as important.

Nigel my best phone buddy ever

Jun Yang who defended me at my lowest

Ee Teng my primary school friend whose never forgot my birthday

Cornelius my primary school friend who found me after so long

Jude my best academic advisor

Natasha and Jia Hui my sec school sisters

Thank you for being my friend

Finally in the end even if you’re not named it doesn’t mean I don’t value your friendship it’s just that sometimes it’s hard to thank everybody haha. If I’ve ever called you a friend I value your friendship and you do mean something to me.

Thank you all of you for being my friend.

NS is coming for me...

2011-09-09T22:12:00.003+08:00

Today I went to Pular Tekong to send off one of my best guy friends I have currently.

The experienced has freaked me out quite a bit honestly.

Seeing how much difference Civilian and NS life is.

It's kinda sad to see his freedom get locked away in just the few hours I was there,

Everything changed. The circumstances for everything really changed.

Tomorrow is another rush everything like hell day cause it's a weekend of a school holiday.

I expect to be exhausted but mentally I have rested quite a bit.

2011-09-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

I miss the times when people Tell me that I'm younger than I look!
Trust me looking young has it's uses :)

Today someone told me I look 25 and I'm like OMG am I that freaking old?
Haiz how life's treats you. First it makes you secretly happy than the next moment it comes back to bite you in the ass !

Work is tiring during school holidays to me it's more like 10 days rather than the actual/supposed 7 days.
Stripping linen and rubbish really takes a toll on my health and here I am again on the border of fever and much worst but nevertheless I'll still party! That's what I call youth!

There are some thoughts that I really wanna keep and try cause for now I believe they are worth it!
I tell them to some people to test their reaction and so far most people have encouraged me!

That's all I'll say tonight I'm sure I'll remember what this thoughts are when I read this post in the future haha! This is just a trigger point! :)

Excited

2011-09-04T23:29:00.003+08:00

I'm actually feeling quite excited that I'm going clubbing with my GFs haha!

I call them GFs cause I really dunno what name to put to us haha!

One thing is for sure I'm not a girl!

Next week shall just go clubbing cause I miss the loud music and the drinks.

This time maybe some photos but nothing that will end up online.

Cause pictures like that are really promiscuous!

Drink shake shake shake shake shake till I drop woots!

Haiz....

2011-08-31T23:54:00.002+08:00

I am actually damn sad when people create new blogs and lock their old blogs.

When they do that a part of their memory is locked away.

I like to read people's past and I really do read from your first post to your most recent one.

I remember the blog addresses of blogs that I enjoy reading.

And when they change it's like I have lost some thing...

Reading manga blogs are ways I use to chill out after a hard day's work and now there are really few blogs that are still being updated constantly, This is a perfect example....

This is a random rant but some people may know who I'm actually talking about haha!

Thank god almost no one reads this anymore !

It's been too long

2011-08-20T22:47:00.002+08:00

It's been too freaking long since I last blogged.

About 5 months have passed life has changed a hell lot.

Friends who have been part of my everyday life have changed.

Maybe It's I who have changed now all I know is that they have left me.

Their lives have gone on without me.

I do not need to say who they are because we all know we've drifted.

Nothing lasts forever but they were a hell lot to me.

They kept me buoyant when I was sinking

They gave me light in the darkness

They gave me wings to fly

But most importantly they taught me what it meant to be a friend

We may have drifted but you'll all always be something to me.

And maybe years down the road and we need each other

Help will always be given

Because help will always be given to a friend :)

Complicated

2011-03-02T03:28:00.000+08:00

Sometimes life's just so complicated that I just wish things could be simpler.
School is simple.
Go for lecture do tutorial study exam take exam
Slot in a project or 2 and life's done.

However, when you're dealing with friends everything is just so complex.
When you wanna say no it's never a no.
It's I'll get back to you Tmr
And than finally back out at the end.

Or it's you go to a destination that you do not enjoy and in the end no ones happy cause your friend feels guilty

You can't also say let's go our separate ways just for today.
People will be unhappy too.

Unless it's a very small group with very similar taste
Nothing can be agreed on.

It makes life hard. It makes making a decision hard.
Giving in may not be the right decision.
However, making a stand may not be right either.
A perfect compromise is almost impossible.

I just hope everything turns out fine and everyone will be happy in the end.

2011-02-08T21:07:00.000+08:00

I'm going for NS medical tomorrow!
How How! I'm damn scared of needles and there's gonna be a blood test!
I hope I don't scream shout or die in there tmr god bless me!
IB's a bitch! Haiz :(

2011-01-30T02:09:00.002+08:00

It's the last month at poly now! this day has come as quickly as I have expected.
It feels just like yesterday that i just received my jae results that I'm gonna go to tp
Although it's not as if I didn't know that I'm going to tp already -.-"
But it just seems so fast! So damn fast!
Now it seems I'm stuck. It's one thing to dream that you work in a hotel.
It's a totally different thing to actually work in one!
Nobody starts from the top! And seriously the grass is not greener on the top either!
Ok ok I gotta admit the paychecks at the top is an work of art!
But the effort vs the paycheck vs the sense of satisfaction
I'm currently thinking of the word effort!

Paycheck comes with experience, it comes with time. I'm not too worried about it.

Sense of satisfaction I already enjoyed during my wonderful internship!

It boils down to effort how much effort am I willing to put in?
Can I really see myself in front of a desk speaking to a guest?
Or can I really enter a room to inspect it? To ensure everything's up to standard?
Worst still can I bring myself to travel the distance to my workplace?
To have no fixed working hours? To not be able to be off during the PH
Can I really do it?
Do I have the passion to do it?
Ah... It's important I know what I want so that I'll be able to learn what I need!
All needs are after all to satisfy my wants!
Till the next blog post! Happy Chinese new year in advance!

Cheer Up world!

2011-01-15T01:00:00.002+08:00

There are some people I really have no idea how to cheer up!

And just seeing their death look makes me sad!

Seeing happy people is still the best!

The disappointment in their faces really crushes any air of happiness that is supposed to be there! I suppose this is life and I'm not the best friend you can find.

At least I'm trying...

But sometimes I just can't help but be an ass

Being an ass is the only way I know of being a friend

Been an ass my whole life disturbing people

I think I can say that people will think something is wrong with me if i'm not an ass for a day

MA2 Class test 1 was difficult.

I made a careless mistake.

Now I can't be at the top.

But I hope I don't slip too much!

I did after all made a promise with Yi Wen

Z for accounting!

It's still possible! I hope she doesn't give up!

Somethings I will not say to her in person

Somethings I just can't say doesn't seem to fit the persona I exude

Somethings just stay here even though no one reads it

Well this is my diary and a place where a lot of my adolescence is

Many years from now I'll probably be laughing at myself for writing all this!

Smile my friends! Thats the only way to live life!

If the Mayans are right we only have one year left anyway!

Stress

2011-01-11T16:22:00.002+08:00

Haiz this semester has been horrifying!
One week is at least filled with 10% of any random subject!

Except maybe the first 2 weeks... But haiz it's horrible!

Friday Monday Tuesday - Tons of random worthless tests.

But maybe i'm going mad?

My body is going crazy too!

Every night i dream of doing project,

Every night i'm studying in my dreams,

Every night is just yet another nightmare,

Every night ends when I wake up abruptly thinking i'd failed in doing something.

So nowadays I'm getting little or no good amount of sleep.

GOD I JUST WANT GOOD SLEEP!

End Year Celebration

2010-12-29T01:30:00.002+08:00

This year has been such a fruitful year for our friendship!
It's truely a year where i can feel bonds strenghtening!
This year with Yu fang yi ling and flora has really been memorable!
From flora's birthday to yi ling birthday to my birthday and Yu fang's birthday
I'm sure all of us have fond memories on either of the days!
There are also the funny times spent at my house at j co yogurt or at where ever we eat!

Tonight we ate freshness burger which was great tasting but tiny portions haha!
Also we cooked supper at my house and drank to the end of the new year :)
Cheers and many happy returns!

Till than people see ya!

Project Project Project!

2010-12-28T00:05:00.002+08:00

Ok firstly to make it straight!

I'm a SLACKER!

I gave up working hard.

I gave up putting a front of trying to work hard!

I am simply slacking spending money, staying happy :D

At least I'm happy now! No lies. No false front to keep!

And I know I'm not an idiot :D

Next, Project 1 - SIP PROJECT

TARGET Date of completion - 0000 29 DEC2010

Next, Project 2 - LAW PROJECT

I got my article !!! The murderous maid :(

Why why why why why must she kill that innocent girl?

Next, Project 3 - IB PROJECT

I need to research on TANGIBLE something...!

TARGET Date of completion - 2359 11JAN2010

Next, Project 4- POE PROJECT ( INDIVIDUAL )
I need to do a damn 4 page write up on some rich guy who got lucky with guts blah and blah!

TARGET Date of completion - 0000 11JAN2010

Next, Project 5- POE PROJECT ( GROUP )

I must fight the damn curve of F&B must find something better than selling food and drinks!

I must not be on the curve! Strict avoidance of bellcurve when necessary!

TARGET Date of completion - 0000 11 JAN 2010

Thats all folks? Wish me luck! Have a good year ahead!

Xmas/Birthday celebration

2010-12-21T03:11:00.002+08:00

This year is nearly over :(

That means i'm growing yet another year older but not a single bit more matured haha!

Anyway tonight was really fun time spent with flora, yiling and yufang !

Went to blujaz for dinner and our first drink of the night!

Ate tomato lamb pasta :D Delicious sia!!!!

My gosh it is fun to do Xmas gift exchanges !

I love love love the shirt I received it's just like the one I wanted to buy but had no size!

I'm gonna save it for new year :D

And I also like watching others drink shots!

1/2 Gin, 1/2 Sprite and she managed it! All hail Yufang!!!

Not 1 not 2 but 3 of it she managed to down before we concluded the night of drinking!

It was next down to movie ! She's outta my league!

Nothing more to say ! Merry X'mas and a happy new year!

Tag me if you wish to see more blog post!

See ya!

2010-11-24T23:45:00.002+08:00

I have a love hate relationship with my job!
I want it to be over but I will miss the people
Especially those who take special care of me

I'm so excited going zouk next Friday !
Clubbing confirmed but who's actually going is not!
Location is also not confirmed! But who cares?
I'm just going to enjoy the fixed schedules!

Lastly, I need to start on all my projects that I promised my boss by this week!
Not to forget the last e-journal and logbook!

I hate myself for procrastinating so much haha!

Tired

2010-11-13T23:17:00.002+08:00

I can't stand having my off days separately,
it kills me as the fatigue does not leave me
The pains in the muscle does not fade and it hurts
It hurts so damn much :(
Some one recommend me some cure for my pains and fatigue pls :(

2010-11-12T00:03:00.002+08:00

How long ago has it been since I stopped taking initiative?
Be it in my studies, be it in my relationships.
If the incident today didn't happen, perhaps I'll be in the unknowing for who knows how much longer?

While walking to take the staff bus out to vivo a pretty lady came up to ask me for directions
So I tried to direct her there while my supp marlon was asking me to just guide her there
In the end because it was on the way I walked her there.
Although in a joking tone both marlon n Yammy were like asking me to ask her for her number
Or just try to talk to her more, I just walked her there and said bye!

Maybe that's y I fail so much at this sometimes cause I'm just too thick in the head
Or maybe because I'm scared, but than again it's not like I'll always see her ?
So what's wrong with getting rejected ? Ain't that right?

It boils down to one word initiative.
Or more simply. Open your fucking mouth Wayne ! Don't you like to talk a lot?
That's all folks good night!

Emo sadness without reason

2010-11-08T22:39:00.000+08:00

For many nights now,
all I wanna do is just lay down and cry,
I do not know what I am sad about
but the gap in my heart just keeps getting wider
the abyss seems to be reopening
the depth of darkness seems endless.
It may just be a phase no longer a day but somehow it hurts so much that I Just wanna cry as if this sorrow will leave me if I do

Somehow I just wanna cry

2010-10-16T02:05:00.001+08:00

In 7 more weeks internship will be over!
Despite all the complains I've heard I seriously believe that everyone and not just me will benefit from this training
It's seriously lessons that can never be learnt in the classroom
It's something our parents face everyday
Now that we have faced it is school really all that bad?
I'm really enjoying this break from school as at least there are no exams to study for
At least not everything I do will have a impact on my grades
And it is truly through this internship that you truly treasure your friends
You learn to treasure the time and freedom that you have while studying
You learn appreciate all that your parents do for you
But through it all I'm still enjoying myself :) n I really treasure the nice working environment I am in now :)

2010-10-13T23:30:00.002+08:00

I'm kinda loving what I do now.
At least all that I'm doing is right even if I'm a little slow
Only thing is I talk much ask too much even the good n bad
Got assessed today dun think I did too badly
But I think I did my best no regrets!
how I wish i could see at least one of my eye candy a day
They really make my day a better one instantly :)

I'm loving what I do because at least it's not boring!

2010-09-25T22:56:00.002+08:00

I could have chosen an easy life,
in some office doing paper work,
traveling half the world on some lame ass errand
but I didn't choose it.
I chose the job whereby I know hard manual labour is mandatory it is essential to the nature of the business.
And so I face it with a positive and naive attitude!
I gotta say I'm lovin it!
Cause I know it's gonna make me stronger!
And I do mean stronger literally !
Housekeeping is really hard work!
Pls respect them when you do stay in hotels!
Tips would make them really happy :D

Grades

2010-09-24T11:33:00.002+08:00

After such a freaking long wait!
My results are finally in!
Now I can breathe a sigh of relief!
I got my coursework grade as my final grade :)
Hence, GPA for this sem is 3.4 overall I dunno !

Week of NO REGRETS

2010-09-19T15:23:00.010+08:00

To have a week like this week just ended has been my dream!

Wild nights! Awesome food ! This week's awesome shit!
My highlight of the week was clubbing!

Painstakingly organised by Simone! Thank you! You rule!

Mahjong! Chalet! BBQ! Movie! KBOX! Everything you can do I did haha!

Monday
Although it does not feel like it Monday was my exam but it was!
And that's where all the fun began!
First was the grooving in the cinema !
Step up 3 let's break it down!
Mee sua for dinner haha!

Tuesday
Adding to the awesomeness of the first day!
It began with KBOX with diana ivan n Xing Yong
Had a he'll lot of fun but I hate jay chou!!!!

Next we met Cherie Yi Wen Eunice Jia Min for hangout
Woot that was awesome drumming by Ivan n singing by me !

Dinner was awesome the salmon oyaku don was good!
Damn freaking awesome n nice!

Oh I can't forget eating tau hui with the cockroaches!

Wednesday
Muahahaha and it was the highlight of the week!
Clubbing at butterfactory!
Just high n awesome!
Drink & Dance doesnt get more awesome than this!
Watching you jing valencia Steffi Yu feng dance was coooool
High sia!

THANK GOD THE THE PEOPLE ABOVE FOR MAKING CLUBBING SO FUN!

CHUGGING GREEN TEA AND HENNESSEY!

Damn had to hold the jug of green tea and Hennessey for like 20 min!

Thank god Charmaine came and drank it down haha!

*Can't really believe that I was actually clubbing with Charmaine haha!*

Hey and it's cherie's first time too!

Thursday
Wheeee chalet at hometeam ns !
Freaking eeire place but awesome people!
More drinking! More games ! More movie marathon!

Friday
And here the high feeling has gradually replaced by fear
But that doesnt mean the day's not awesome!
Mahjong from 2 to 11 shiok right?
Tamed the itchy hands of mine!

To end it off!
Another night waiting for someone to take me high
Another day seeking just another high
Another hour searching the adreneline rush
Another minute searching for a compliment
Another second to live up to expectation
Another try to get perfection
Just seeking pure bliss without setbacks
Is that what I want?
Maybe All I want is Simply Satisfaction

2010-08-02T17:29:00.001+08:00

I've hardly any reason to look forward to opening my eyes every morning.
It just feels like something's lacking in my life.
The problem is I do not know what's lacking!
I feel that my life is perfectly ok!
I get what I want most of the time
Till I do not know what the hell I want!
Someone tell me a reason for me to open my eyes every morning!

Haha

2010-07-26T14:48:00.000+08:00

Before I entered poly I told myself that it's where I'm going to find a girlfriend and make lots of friends that are going to last me a lifetime.
Now that I'm in my last year of polytechnic .
I am looking through all that have past
All the times that I have
And I have come really far from where I begun
From a almost solitude lifestyle
To one with tons of friends
I really thank whoever is giving me this blessing
I've seen so many things since poly started from people coming together to breakups
I even had my first crush in poly!
That feeling of being in a crush
I miss it. I really do. And I long for such a feeling again!
But all I really can do is wait
Wait till I find someone I like again
But than again I always fall for the wrong girl
And I realised something but I cannot speak of it.
But overall I'm happy I really am thanks a lot!

Walking down memory lane :)

2010-07-24T19:29:00.000+08:00

Today I walked a trip down memory lane ,
I went out with my seniors from my sec school who treated me like a younger brother.
We ate together talked about school, talked about life after poly jc and plans for the future!
They gave me really good insights into the world of university life of ntu.
it's kinda now that I know what I'm going to do next!
Where I'm gonna apply is pretty much set in my head now
Although revealing the ideas would give people a good laugh
And make them say it's a big fat dream

One of the 2 big sisters I met today also brought me to this really good shop that sells headphones and earpieces!
Next time u wanna buy headphones or earpiece I can tell you where it is!

I dunno if I saw the right thing but I think I saw my primary school friend Ee teng! Haha if it was her it's such a pleasant surprise :) hope to meet her one day soon!

Kinda miss my sec school friends like fion Nigel tsung Ming and jen hun too!

If I could turn back the clock...

Pain

2010-07-18T12:16:00.000+08:00

You don't know how much it hurts,
How guilty I feel,
Or how nervous and ashamed I feel
When you said all those words!
How I may actually bring the group down!
It may be said jokingly
But I still feel all the same!
Thank god when I back PBL1 I saw that my component was a 75%
it was like needles swords and daggers being pulled out of my heart
Stones lifted from my feet and how the gulitine above my head crumbled to dust
After taking back the results
I just had to run
To move
The weight upon my heart dispelled!

Pls somebody never let me take the components with the highest components ever again !
I do not like the stress
I do not like the pressure
I like to be carefree to just contribute as much as I can offer
Without losing sleep without losing hair without getting nightmares about losing friends or worst letting them down
When it comes to this everyone matters more than myself

Regarding last post!

2010-07-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

I'm not giving mini away!
I love her too much to do something so cruel!
It's my cousin's dog not mine!

5 year cocker Spaniel anyone?

Anyway met Yi ling at the bus-stop today :D
Haha she brightened my day :D
For a moment, she straightened my priority and motivated me !
Thanks a MILLION!

Than came the conversation about leg hair!
According to Yi Ling :
1) Leg hair increases friction hence when you fall your fall will be slowed down!
2) When you have fallen the leg hair acts as lubricant to prevent you from getting all the scratches

Can't believe i rejected a movie to do HR !
Hope it's worth it!

Sadness in the air

2010-07-11T21:41:00.002+08:00

I am like damn depressed because a dog in my family is going to leave me.
I love dogs, I love them all.
Even those i do not see very often,
I can't believe that someone from my family will send a dog to SPCA.
It's just unthinkable to me.
I adopted one, and saved her from the brink of death.
Now one is put on the edge of the cliff, one small push and he's dead.
I hope and i pray for your sake wrx that someone wants to adpot you.

Any 1 wanna adopt a 5 year old pure breed Cocker Spaniel pls tell me.
Save a life. Bring joy to your family. Energetic and cute dog.

I can't believe how much i am affected by the act of even considering
Sending a dog to the SPCA

Haiz bring me some solace and peace in my heart.
Someone save the dog.
Even just one dog. Save it. I can't save the world but just one i would like to save one dog

Self-worth!

2010-07-08T21:52:00.000+08:00

I have a new sense of self-worth :D
I just realized I am actually of some use to my group!
I am like the designer with grand designs that I cannot fullfil myself!
But with the help of my teammates they actually come true !

A little regret is the lack of drive to get an A for the project!
It's something I can't do by myself! But ...!!!
Nvm :D I'm proud of my awesome ideas!
At least i feel like I'm of some use this time :D
I'm loving the tourism electives more and more but !
BUT!!! It's over :(
The end of the electives have come !
So sad So sianz !

Happy

2010-07-04T01:31:00.002+08:00

Today I celebrated yi ling's birthday! Together with
Flora Kenneth Yu fang and myself !
I put my heart and soul in the celebration !
And recieved joy and exhilaration!

Singing happy birthday in the mrt was damn funny!
Candles that don't go out are also damn funny!
The way yi ling refused the broom with the balloon is the funniest!

With every good comes something bad!
Next week will be the most stressful week in my polytechnic history!
Firstly, on Monday I will have a Kelly services test and a graded mock presentation!
Next I have to stay back till at least 9 for events management!
Tuesday I will be with some luck touching up on my em and submit it!
Wednesday will be slugging in school to do sit!
Than on Friday submit both group projects!
Most likely be staying in school till 9 all week!

Friends are like fireworks,
They sparkle and light up your life,
Even just for a moment,
they are there to raise you from the darkness,
And draw you into the light!
And like fireworks they stay in your heart like a shinning blaze!

Let me go

2010-07-02T00:29:00.000+08:00

I'm not emoing!
I'm just facing despair and in it's face!
I'm just screaming LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
it has come to bring me to the depths many times!
This time I refuse to go down!
I must last through this!
Let me go let me be free of useless thoughts
Let me go
Let ME GO!

River

2010-06-29T00:29:00.000+08:00

It's been a long while sinced I blogged!
Life is no smooth flowing river!
Currently my river is facing the point when everything narrows into one thing!
And that's school work!
Projects projects and more projects!
I had 6 projects on hand last Friday
2's gone as I submitted last Friday!
I done my events management in 2 days
And my sit in 1 day
Now 4 more on hand!
Hr sit em Kelly group project!
Each one is 20% or more
Each one determines if I get a B or a C
My effort to score A for MA is futile
So I'm just gonna ignore it and get a C+
I just wanna graduate and rest now!
Mentally I can't take it anymore!
This semester has been more than I can take!
It has been stress stress and more stress that's all self imposed!
I'm a imperfect lazy perfectionist ! Who can't keep up to any standards and got crushed by reality!
The demeaning cycle or disillusionment has distorted all positive feelings !
Poor self esteem crushes what's left!
I'm turning into a badmouth moron who can't work!
I need time off school!
I need to sing my guts out!
Express all emotions through my only way to vent my fustration !
But apparently I sing so bad no one wants to go with me!
Cause it's plain torture to the ears!
I must get past this narrow and into the delta
So that my life branches out into many directions rather than one!
Help me through this rough patch!
I may not seem to be doing my best!
But I'm doing my all!
Forgive me! I let you all down again!

Change

2010-06-10T00:40:00.002+08:00

Change is the only constant.

Everyone changes.

For good for bad no one is in the position to judge others.

Ok ok to all those religious people out there god will judge us.

God your god or mine? It doesn't matter to me.

I respect all faiths and religion. It is necessary.

If all things in this world were the same, who would be unique?

Back to topic of change.

I have looked back at the past and looked at the present.

I have changed so much I barely recognise myself.

In the past, I was this tense uptight guy who worried about results, work and blah.

Now, I just care about whether I am enjoying myself or not.

I have become the very person I swore I must guard against.

However, the remorse that I feel is not getting to the right places.

No one truly believes that they are doing bad things.

Its just the worlds perception on what is bad and what is not.

Concentration is a myth to me.

Does it ever happens?

Maybe the freedom has screwed with what small discipline I have over myself.

But everyone grows.

You lose one thing, only to gain others.

Results VS Friends

The choice is obvious.

Do I need say more?

When we were born we were born with clenched first ready to take everything the world has to offer, when we pass on we die with our hands wide open cause we have learnt we can take nothing with us but the memories forged in the years we have led.

For all of us are immortal for as long as you are not forgotten.

Your legacy is left behind.

Results are secondary to what I am leaving behind, something people will remember me for.

Be it good, Be it bad, as long as you call me a friend, I am eternally grateful.

Thank you. You let me be myself. And I live by my own standards not society's.

Thank you all who let me be who I want to be.

To achieve what I want to do.

So that I no longer lie about my very being.

Thank you.

2010-06-04T02:28:00.003+08:00

I've found a way to keep myself feeling good about myself!
And I'm happy that I can!
As long as I finish one item off my to do list a day it was a accomplished day!

Why did I take so long to figure something so simple?
Simplicity is bliss! Complexity is fun! A little of both and it rids boredom!

2010-06-03T02:34:00.002+08:00

I took a Big step in my own small world!
To join friends whom were once just my friend's friend.
This big step means I'm breaking out of my shell!
To see the world! The different types of people!
Maybe after I do this, I may find the true one being that I am meant for!

2010-05-30T13:33:00.001+08:00

I have learnt that eventually
I will have to without a doubt forgive myself for all the faults that I have.
Cause I have a question for u !
Who likes a guy who lives in nothing but self doubt and self denial!
For me to be openly critical of myself isn't a good thing either!
Everybody has secrets they dun want anybody to know!
Time to change! And prevent myself from walking in circles of the same life!
If you are reading this and consider yourself my friend
tell me in anyway u like to stop bringing myself down and stop living in a self fufilling prophesy of doom and failure!
For that I thank you. Thank you very much

Esteem problems

2010-05-23T15:35:00.000+08:00

Esteem is an issue some people have but the extent to which it affects people varies.
To me no insult can get to me except one kind.
Just one small thing I am extremely sensitive to.
To many it seems very stupid but to me it can hurt.
Perhaps it's my naive thinking, or simply how childish i am
But seeing people in very touchy relationships draws more than harmless resentment from me!
It can seriously make me jealous annoyed angry sad emotional!
Let's just say being an only child and a serious lack of social life in my younger days really took a hit on me
On one hand it makes me treasure the friends I have currently
On the other it makes me crave almost to a psychological level for another half for a companion

Me

2010-05-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

This blog is truly a place where i just say what i want mean what i wanna say.
I love this place cause there are no boundaries
The only one i face would probably be the law.
I am blogging cause i realised something really stupid.
That thing is ME!
I am so lost and distorted.
It's weird and it's like i am on drugs or something!
One moment i am tired till i am almost dead or something.
Next moment i go around jumping saying stupid things and making fun of myself
Than when i am writing my report for HR i keep contridicting myself!
I keep writing information that is contradictory to what i am recommend!
I realise this happens a lot when i am not feeling dedicated to anything!
More like anyone but it's truly a weird sensation!
Thank god my team mates are alert enough to notice my demise!
Its like i was a dead human being or something!
I need someone to dedicate my feelings towards!
Only when i am off the charts and off the scales of balance can I function!
Somethings are just weirder than weird!
Maybe i am just eccentric haha!

School and goals

2010-05-02T23:21:00.002+08:00

And so it begins the last year of my polytechnic life,
It certainly started with a bang! Just the second week and we got slammed with pbl 1 of hr
Training and Development as well as performance management !
The first week was spent at the library red spot section !
Trying my best to do up some good notes!
And in the process try to do up a nice fila!

Special interest tourism is also cool with us doing nightlife in Singapore !
This time I know that to do well I am gonna need to put in a lot of effort !
To include statistics and maybe a questionare!

For now events management is sparing me any hard work and is quite enjoyable :)

Managarial accountng on the other hand screws with my head but I know I can do it!
I will overcome adversities with hardwork just like all the great people of our time!

Personal enjoyment is secondary! Laziness is a weak mind! And a weak conviction will ruin my talent!

I should stop burying myself under excuses!
Time to reach out to the hand that has been waiting for me to grab on !
I feel your presence your ambition to mould me into a better person!
I feel your thoughts and I hear you!
You want me to live without regrets cause that's the only way man us suppose to live!
You have seen my potential and now u want to mould me into a better more confident person!
Now is the time! Not tomorrow ! Not next week! NOW ! Is when I start living !
You have seen man needs to be loved to grow faster and you shall being love into my life!
You shall bring me my lifetime companion!
You shall lead me to have a better life one where I will excel! And it starts now!

Alone

2010-04-25T00:47:00.001+08:00

I am young and I am naive I thought everthing
Everything would go my way
And I would be able to pass everything unscathed
But I am naive
Two days ago my stylist came over to my house
And he cut my hair OBVIOUSLY right?
And so the hair was all over the toilet floor
And my parents went to work
So I am supposed to sweep it all up
And clear up all the mess
But I procrastinated ... I wanted to do it before my sleep
But right after my games ended it was too late
My mum came home early
It was the end... She's damn pissed and upset
She scolded me till I cried

It is times like this where I feel the most alone
I need a shoulder to cry on
A companion. A friend.
But when I look around me I am alone
I am a only child where are my siblings?
I am without a best friend
I have no one.

2010-04-17T03:37:00.000+08:00

Today I feel really bad cause of what I am feeling!
I feel like a bastard of some sorts.
Like a fucker or a bitch of sorts
This sense of inferiority just gets worst the more jealous I get
The reason I left early is what makes me feel bad
Me saying I am tired is just a stupid excuse
The real reason is cause I can't stand to be in the presence of new fresh couples
I just feel so jealous!!!
On one hand they r my friends and I feel happy for them!!!
On the other I feel envious and sad that I'm still alone!!!

I crave to feel what I have never felt!
I crave to be put into a position I have never been!
I crave to cease to be as lonely!
And perhaps never have no one to turn to when I am really down and out
For sure than I will be jealous no more.

But the true question is why am I so desperate ?
Why now?
Why?

Holidays!!!

2010-03-23T16:21:00.002+08:00

I have beat all my previous records of manga reading and attained a new height!
I have finished so many that i have told myself to take a break and do other things!
Like pack my room and stuff!
Holidays really mess my room up!
Its like a cycle of pack and mess up pack and mess up and pack and mess up!

Something is seriously bothering me!!!
I keep getting this pain in just one particular spot in my head!
It's not a bruise! Its like a headache that focuses on one particular spot ! Haiz
:( Pain!

Back in sg!

2010-03-15T01:02:00.002+08:00

I have been back in Singapore for 3 days and it has been a really hard and difficult 3 days!
Firstly, I have been sick the moment I touched down in Singapore.
That was really bad and I was shivering like mad in the airport terminal!

Secondly, I was supposed to be working at the it fair on Friday but in the end I spent the whole day in bed sleeping. Resting.
And when I actually worked I could not perform at all.
I guess due to the sickness and perhaps I was just too tired.
It was my worst it fair ever . To think it was suppose to be my best.

Thirdly, I know it's just me. But ever since I was back so few people have talked to me or asked me out,
I am feeling lost ! Lonely and sad.

With the negative emotions I really on the verge of mental and physical collapse,
not to mention financial ruin due to my tour,
I am just the kind of person who enjoy social interaction,
without it,

I FEEL LIKE I AM NOTHING.

Reflection

2010-03-08T00:28:00.001+08:00

Such a long time since I blogged!
Been a long while since I have done any evaluation of myself!
My days nowadays are wonderful!
I have now a place I can call home !
A place where I can call my friends to my house to have fun!
A place where not only I can have fun but my friends too!
Talking bout friends! Makes me all the happier :)
Now I have more than just my cousins and the girls
I have love 123 And my year 2.2 class!
It's been keeping me busy and giving me fun !
Most of all it gives me the sense of belonging and companionship one that I have not previously felt before!
Although I feel lonely sometimes,
I know if I really want and need company .
Someone will be there for me!
I can't say I have given up completely on finding that one true companion,
But I certainly have become a lot less desperate cause I have realized there is companionship in friends!
Not necessary to have the ultimate companion!
Moreover, how many relationships can last through the years when I am in army?
But the most stupid thing I can ever do now is to stop looking !
Miracles happen to the fortunate and for those who seek it ! Of that I am sure!
For now life rocks ! And so I love it! ThAnks for loving me!

Off to thailand for a few days! Hope to see you all when I am back!

2010-02-25T21:14:00.002+08:00

I found my childhood song!

I believe by Yuko Yamaguchi!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UUkIy7AU4w

English Version!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOtnuEwxXDM&feature=related

Japanese version! ( ORIGINAL)

Lyrics!

When I'm feeling small
When it's cold outside
I don't kwno who I should believe
And when I needed someone special
just by my side
Who was there?

When I'm feeling old
When it's rain outside
I don't know who is holding me
And when I need a little kind and tender moment
Who's with me?

I believe someday I will love
Someone who's by my side
Oh someday
My special one will come alone
I'll pray everyday

When I'm lost inside
When I'm down and out
I don't know who I should recall
And when I needed someone precious
just be my side
No one there no one was there

I believe someday I will love
Someone who's by my side
Oh someday
My special one will come alone
I'll pray everyday

Someday I will love
Oh someday oh someday
I keep on praying everyday

I love this song! I sang it to sleep when i was damn small!

Watch the drama OVERTIME ! It is also damn nice !

Cny n exams

2010-02-22T16:01:00.002+08:00

Happily time went by so fast
It's already the end of gambling sessions!
Btw I managed to pay my mum for the I-phone and the steamboat cause of winnings!
The begining of studying for a very very important exam!
During this time I will be alone,
Just myself :'(
No company with a he'll load of shit to study for.
On the bright side one week before hell's over
And freedom begins!

The cool appeal to my heart,
The seemingly uncaring attracts me,
The unusual seizes me,
The companion I seek is an enigma,
For that's the thrill I seek in the word companionship :)

Things that are!

2010-02-11T21:28:00.002+08:00

Hey r u Human?
If u are you know what I am talking about!
There will be the days when everything is against you !
A day when nothing is going right!
That's the time when u visualize the good so that the bad becomes good ! And that's life for you!
The sadder you are the harder it is to think of the good but as long as you do !
Good will come!
Bye Simone ! Bye Cheryl ! See ya soon !

V-day

2010-02-11T01:31:00.001+08:00

Some days were just made to think of her.

Somedays are spent thinking of her fairness and grace.

How cute she is .

Thinking of her makes my heart race being with her calms my heart

and brings the world to a standstill.

Why do I like her?

It's because of the warm fuzzy feeling she gives me.

She is like a pair of wings that can bring me to the highest if the skies and be free,

that's just how she is and that's how I Like her

Life

2010-02-10T01:11:00.002+08:00

Wow life is a weird twist here and there!

Destroying some good stuff!

Reliving some bad stuff.

And enjoying some fun stuff!

Tomorrow is my interview role play!

I hope to have fun :D

HAHA!

Com skills was over i could finish the paper :D

Now all thats left is HR!

Funny

2010-02-03T22:52:00.005+08:00

Was googling my dear friends names found 2 really interesting pages!

http://www.ssc.gov.sg/publish/teamsingapore/en/games/sea/2005/manila/athlete.detail.html?athleteID=37

And

http://www.ssc.gov.sg/publish/teamsingapore/en/games/sea/2005/manila/athlete.detail.html?athleteID=45

Thank god in reality they dun look so fierce but haha both are very nice guys :D

HAHA!!!!

I actually know national players! LOL

Back to studying

Life for the past few weeks.

2010-01-31T22:33:00.003+08:00

Now i am going to blog about my past month.

Hm... Where do i start?

Lets just forget the dates kk? HAAHHAHAHA

The few events i wont forget for a while,

Firstly, There is FLORA's birthday!

Haha it was one hell of a experience!

First it was Ding Tai Feng!

And Häagen-Dazs !

Than it was the most exciting part when we headed offffff to my house! HAHA!!!!

Where we took tons of pictures and cut Flora's cake!

Yi Ling and Flora also had their first taste of VODKA ABSOLUTE ! HAHAHA

Than a cool modelling in my bed room after the bottle became dry haha!

Some pictures below from that day!

Secondly, was Aakila's Wedding!

OMG it was like my first wedding I got invited to !

Damn exciting and took tons of pictures!

The food there was also totally awesome!

Pictures on facebook!

Thirdly, was the amount of time spent doing projects and studying!

The time spent was kept to a minimum while achieving erm.... bad results?

Expected but disappointing for most of my subjects!

Lastly a poem of the lost,

Silence is like a poison,

It takes the bright things out of life,

It saps everything,

Leaving a void,

An emptiness,

After every light is a darkness,

tomorrow i shall walk back into the light.

things and updates

2010-01-30T01:04:00.000+08:00

Updating this tomorrow.

A little heavy head.

Many things have happened changed my perspective.

Talk more tomorrow going to sleep. Drank again haiz!

Money

2010-01-19T00:21:00.000+08:00

I always thought i could control my own finances and not be a typical teenager who overspends but nowadays becoming a teenager has led to overspending.

The money comes in and disappears so quickly the savings i used to have is all gone.

Being nice have led to a muddle headed lost in money too.

I hate to borrow money but i am now doing it on a weekly basis which really sucks.

The trouble of being a teen.

And to make matters worst,

some of the plans i have do cost money and i need to find a way to make at least a little to survive. A little money makes life a lot smoother.

When the path chooses you, all that is left is to survive it!

Better

2010-01-16T21:09:00.002+08:00

Having a day just doing nothing helps boost mental strength.

Back to square 1 now.

Better to have loved and lost than to never to never have loved at all.

But sometimes it is this that troubles me.

Kinda Happy that tourism subjects are over!

But there is still the test and hr !

Wish me luck world!

It's gonna be hard to survive since my brain has not worked for very long :(

Sad and emotional

2010-01-16T00:13:00.002+08:00

I know this blog is always like that sad emo and crappy.

But sometimes i just can't help it.

I was thinking about stupid thing.

Things that should not matter at all.

Things that usually dun bother me.

It just makes me feel sad emotional and all crappy.

I just feel so inferior.

I have lost confidence in myself.

And just plain lost.

I did my hair

2010-01-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

Finally after so long,

i just sit on a chair with my hair closed to get my hair done :D

But now i am fucking stressed so many things in a few hours but no where closed to finish.

So damn fucked!

Target fior tomorrow

2010-01-10T01:16:00.002+08:00

Ok 2 things to be done!
Tomorrow i will have to find myself a consultant on how to produce notes for
Stress management and Work-life balance
And if possible produce them.

Next i would do the clubs and resorts.
And that so that i have a significant contribution to a project which i haven seen in a long time.

Haiz groupmates dun let me slack pls.

Crimewatch

2010-01-09T16:02:00.002+08:00

On Thursday night i witnessed 2 women stop a man.

Pre-story.
The man was a snatchthief that stole the women's wallet with a lot of money before thursday night.

On thursday the women saw the man and she and her friend stopped him.
She and her friend saw the man so the women stood in front of the man who was on his bicycle.
While the other women pulled the man's t-shirt.
The man than abandoned his bicycle to run away
But thanks to passerbys the man was pinned against the wall of Tampines 1
Than soon a crowd gathered around the man .
And thus there are still nice Singaporeans around that help catch thiefs.
Thats just so coool!

We met Bernice, Adeline and Jia min after the incident
And Bernice suggeted Anisha should have used her awesome pouncing to stop the guy!
HAHAHAHAHA

Today

2010-01-08T01:39:00.002+08:00

Today was simply weird.

First we finish our project.
Than we have to add things to it after we printed it out.

I got back my human resource project.
I got 66.7.
A C+ for my project.
This probably means the best i can get for final grade is B.
My human resource test did slightly better 22/30
Haiz there goes GPA 3.2 :'(

Watched 2 movies !
One called crimewatch and the other the fourth kind.
The fourth kind was good!
Loved it but a little freaky!
Watched it with Ivan Anisha Diana Thanks for making my day brighter.
Crimewatch is a long story for tomorrow night. See ya

haiz weird!

2010-01-05T23:31:00.002+08:00

Some people holds a certain place in my heart!
Some people simply says things that makes me go aw.... thanks!
Some people just sways me around just by talking to me.

I doubt she reads my blog often but just meeting pretty galz 2 days in a row makes me very happy.
She even said my specs look nice making me even happier.
Sometimes i dun even know why i feel this way.

This is just...

Loaded

2010-01-04T22:35:00.002+08:00

Loaded with tons of rubbish to do.
Loaded with responsibilities.
Loaded by pressure.

Hoping i will be turning into diamonds soon.
Hoping the pressure dun crush me.
Hoping that i will be able to focus and solve everything.

Doing peer teaching notes.
Doing my best to finish nice mangas.
Doing all i can to keep my social life alive.

Looking like a despo shit for some reprive.
Looking for someone to share my troubles.
Looking for someone who understands me.

Whats with the weird sentences above?
I dunno.
Haiz up till now who truely knows me?
Do i even have a best friend?
I have good friends uber good ones but where is my bestie?
Than i realise having drifted from clique to clique i dun have a true best friend.
No one who knows exactly when i am sad.
When i am happy.
No one thats makes me feel truely special.
Maybe i have. Just that sometimes only a bystander can tell.
Can someone tell me?

The long holiday!

2010-01-03T01:14:00.002+08:00

So the new year day holidays are over!
Haiz wait a min i still have today haha!
And so it is ! Like the way it should be!
1 million and one submissions and test coming right up!
But what did i do during friday and sat?
NOTHING absolutely nothing related to my school work!
Ok i did something!
I planned my schedule for the next 6 weeks!
All my test and project datelines planned out on paper for easy reading!
Than there is also my room overhaul for a better nicer environment!
I bought some stuff to make my room neater!
And so it is very nice now! Come this week!
All are invited! Haha!

Celebrated my grandparents 50th aniversary today!
Kinda amazing how long it has been since they married.
And now i am wondering will i ever last that long?

Love is timeless, and thats what the elderly show you ;)

The last day of 2009

2010-01-01T12:23:00.002+08:00

The last day of 2009 was a blast of bad blood to my head haha!
It was an awesome afternoon in which at least for a little while spent just a little time,
With <3 123. Even just for a little while.
Went new year shopping for my new chinese new year clothes and
officially declare bankrupt until i get a job soon.
There is always money gotten from chinese new year red packets haha!
But thats still one and a half month to go!
I saw pretty galz yesterday :D
Like her hair :D
Looks so different from a year ago when we were all still in the same class.

Than again who changed?

There is Danial Wan who cut his hair short,

There is Anisha who rebonded her hair,

Sometimes there will be changes but sometimes things just dun change like?

The love shared between 123 :D
Haha and perhaps pretty galz everlasting cold chill at timea :( haha!

But one thing is for sure i plan to make the best of this new year.

By the way drank way too much yesterday!
Almost got a hangover!
And my freaking head was spinning like mad last night!
Choya + Mccallen+ Gorden Blu haha dunno the spelling but haha
Blast from the alcohol ouch !

Happy new year and many happy happy returns! See ya all soon!

2010

2009-12-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

Wow times flies and it's on the bridge of 2010 now.
Been kind of sad the past few days but feeling a whole lot better now.
The year past has been kind of eventful with many fun fond memories.
Just some of the highlights would probably be (in no particular order)

Korea trip!
123 outings and BBQs
Going out with Flora, Yi Ling Yu Fang , Eunice
Going out with Ivan, Anisha, Diana, Xing yong, Grace and some other of my lovely classmates for dinner
Going out with her! Even though its just once.

And in this new year i just hope for a better more rewarding year.

Pain

2009-12-29T22:56:00.001+08:00

I have never felt like that ever.
Never before have i felt like this.
This time is no one but myself.
Never before this pain of no forgiveness to myself.
I shall let the pain sink in and hurt.
How else can i ever learn the conquest of hardwork.
It simply hurts.

Korea

2009-12-21T14:25:00.006+08:00

I am finally back from Korea :D
It was absolutely a blast and i have something for everyone!
Haha at least i think so if i did not miscount :-)

Day one the traveling from Singapore to Shanghai for transit!
Than from Shanghai to korea!!!
Like what the travel and resort taught us all.
China eastern airlines have to return to its hub haha!
And after arriving there had some korea food !!!

And headed to the themepark Lotte world...

Than finally at 10 we left our hotel for shopping!
At Dong Dai Mun??? haha nvm the spelling!

And it is too tiring typing my whole story!
Summary is that the food is roughly the same everyday with a few execptions
I wont upload too many pictures here cause the majority will be on Facebook.
Just a little rantuing
Let the pictures do the talking!

photos from korea and shanghai!

2009-12-21T13:16:00.001+08:00

Weeeeee in Korea

2009-12-14T23:07:00.002+08:00

Hello i am in korea weeeeeeeeeee!!!!
and seriously unexpected and first time in history i met a friend overseas!
Here's a picture of me and hui ting!
Hahaha meet on the shopping street! Rocks sia!!!
Simone this picture is dedicated to you!!! Haha!

There are damn fun things and nice pictures but those have to wait!
Data charges are god damned expensive!
But here's a few!

Haha see you all soon cya!
P.s tell simone to look at the above picture! Haha!

Bye people

2009-12-11T21:29:00.001+08:00

Going to Korea is 3 hours time :D
See ya people !!! tag me or sms me if have anything to tell me :D
See you all soon!

Hell has just ended but the heat is still on

2009-12-11T01:39:00.003+08:00

Hell has just ended but the heat is still on.
After the human resource paper many of us are feeling the heat.
The papers just get more and more difficult one after another.
The skipping of certain procedures are also making our life harder.
Self study is a chore and it seriously undermines our confidence.
But we will stand tall and strong and face the concequence.
Yes we will.

After the Human resource paper today i was not dissapointed at all.
I did what i can and write what i could.
Thats all i can say.

My parents are gonna say i never study blah blah blah.
But i don't care. Seriously.
I know whether i have done my best and this time i have.
So i shall have no regrets.

Went out with my classmates today.
Collected my new camera.
Booked my Basic Theory.
:D

Had fun but running out of money.
:(

Nvm heading off to korea tomorrow.

This holiday will be a stressfree one.
Taking the brunt of the stress on 21 december.
Until than see ya!!!

DID ALL I COULD

2009-12-10T12:30:00.001+08:00

I have done all i can.
Going in with all i have.
I have but no regrets.
Just going in.
Write all.
And exit!
Hopefully there will be something interesting after exiting the exam halls :D
The minimum will be screaming HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
wish me luck and retention

SEE YA!!!

I feel lost since i have lost the love for you. Nothing seems right when there is simply no one i <3

Summarise

2009-12-08T22:53:00.003+08:00

Memorising is so not my forte.
To escape almost certain death i escaped to the 24 hour aircon room of singapore.
CHANGI AIRPORT.
I left the house at bout 7.40.
Reached changi airport at bout 8+ and ate breakfast at MACDONALS :D
Love eating mac for breakfast just so nice.
I started studying at bout 8.50???
And started on the GOD DAMN BORING notes of HR.
After bout an hour i finished it :D
But so little stuck in my head :(
Than i just moved on to RHRA
and started reading, writing and memorising everything on the mindmap for it.
That took the day up till bout 5 when my brain literally felt juicy and dead :(

Hence i headed over to my aunt's house to collect my Guitar :D
Finally when i am back from korea i am gonna start spamming songs like
big girls dun cry, Your guardian angel and Do you know if it is possible to play it on guitar.

I feel like crying now.
The loneliness at the airport was overwhelming.
Once simone left it was so damn bad :'(
If only she didn't came.
Than everything would have been so much simpler.
I would never had to feel the pain of feeling a friend leaving.

I feel lost since i have lost my love.

Lost and Lost

2009-12-07T15:17:00.002+08:00

Somedays i really wake up feeling dead.
Like i wasn't born into this world without a purpose and that i should just be 6 feet under.
Somedays are wild and i feel like the world can't survive without me.
And that i have a fantastic purpose in life.

Today i just wish i was dead.

Somehow i just feel like dying leaving this world seems like such a option to me.
Than the pressure will be released.
Trying to be as good as i can be gives me more pressure than anything else.
If pressure makes diamonds, i will be nothing more than crust after being crushed.

I feel lost since i lost you.

Sooooooo....

2009-12-07T14:19:00.001+08:00

Soooooooooooo...........
What am i suppose to do now?
Today is a monday, and Human resource is on thursday.
Its like a hell lot of shit to study.
A huge load of things.
Life in the past week went by really fast before i knew it.
MIDSEM WAS HERE.
On a good side many projects have reached submission datelines and submitted punctually.
Sadly to say many of the projects were slip-shod work especially individual ones.
I have no idea how to go to a university if i keep up the GOOD work.
Haiz. I have lost myself when i lost you.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE half of semester 2.2 is over!!!

2009-12-04T14:34:00.004+08:00

Part Of the reason why life is awesome now is them.
Yeah the people you see below.
+ a very very very horny indian girl that you all know :D
Thanks a hell lot
Half a semester is over and it is awesome thanks to them Yeah!!!

OMG

2009-11-30T15:35:00.002+08:00

2 Down 2 to go.
This is seriously damn fun :D
Once everything is done, off i go to korea !
God bless ! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Time to fly!!!

Communication Skills online problem.
Human resource mid sem test and thats it!!!

Yeah :D

Friday

2009-11-27T14:17:00.002+08:00

Soooo today is friday!
One week away from the deadline week starting on monday!
And just this morning I have missed my deadline for communication skills i feel damn sad now.
What a waste of my participation marks for communication skills.
I hope it does not affect much. :(

Hr is still not done yet. :(
Travel and Leisure is not done yet. :(
Com skills is not done yet :(

Haiz . . . . who said poly is just a slack shit.
At times like this it really feels suicidal.

OMG

2009-11-26T09:41:00.003+08:00

I finally come to a conclusion that being slow is not CRIME.
I used to think if I do things fast i am efficient i will not screw up.
But as time pass i realised i am not thinking enough.
Things do not come out as nicely as i want.
And grades just do not come.
But now i have learnt to take my time.
So what if everything is due next week?
Just one step at a time.
Work down the list.
And therefore I am down to two.

Communication skills cover letter and resume.
Travel and leisure fieldtrip report.

One step at a time, relax and chill.
That is the way to keep my hair on my head haha!

Reflection

2009-11-25T15:10:00.002+08:00

This is one emo blog post.

Why Why Why? Why can't I just do it.
Why do so many people even while enjoying themselves just continue and finish everything?
Why cant i also have the focus and concentration to finish everything in one go?
Why? Can't i just do it.
When i play my work suffer. This is just not the way i want things to go but it just happens.
This is just not the way i wanna live my life.

Things to do now

Human resource project
Travel and Leisure Fieldtrip report

Today

2009-11-24T11:59:00.003+08:00

Today was 2 words Stress - Weird!
Firstly i had planned to do 3 things

Finish Communication Skills
Finish Hr report
Finish travel and leisure

In the end i only finished the first.
Cause of a extremely good friend visiting me :D
After the long drought of not seeing and talking to my sec school friends really miss them a lot.
After all friends are friends for life are they not?

Nigel you rock!!! Just that u took up a lot of my time haha!
In the end i still blame you :P Joking.

Dinner with yi ling flora and yu fang :D
Ate my fave St Louis pork ribs Wow :D
And talked and talked and talked.
I learnt one thing today.

Girls expect guys to start the conversation.

Another thing to do. How to start a meaningful conversation.

My FOOOD

Oh man i really do love my friends and haiz i think i really am a little faggy :(

In hr again.

2009-11-23T09:37:00.001+08:00

Currently we are in human resource class doing nothing!!!!
We are all waiting for the NEH NEH to finish her communication skills!!!
OMG!!! What a waste of time!!! Than again Hr is kinda boring!!!
Dun even feel like doing!!!

On a side note, none of the Clubs and Resorts information are sticking with me!!!

Haiz! World class disaster! :D

I am such a emotionally tiggered person

2009-11-22T22:47:00.002+08:00

In more ways than one i am such a damn emotional person.
I seriously have to keep my emotions in check before i go nuts!!!

Damn online communication skills is done.
Now left the one for presentation on wednesday!
And also for the test for clubs and resorts i have no idea how am i suppose to do well.
Help?
4 hours spent on the dumb com skills is real bad!

Pls comment on the slight changes to my blogskin Ty :D

200th Post

2009-11-22T01:14:00.003+08:00

Congratulations Wayne this is your 200th post!
Ok enough of randomness.

Today was really stressful as i started the day with com skills 2 online research.
It seriously seem never ending.
And i was continueing yesterday's research.
And after completeing another part i went shopping with my cousins!

Ate tons of food!
Cheesecake Mos burger fish burger Oyster mee sua Milk tea Takoyaki
Than back to grandma house for more food!
And than i resumed communications skills 2 :(

Than i recieved an unexpected phone call from flora!
"Wayne you wanna go and drink coffee?"

And so i went to meet her and yi ling :D
They really help me relax :D
And i end with some pictures :D
Good night :D

Poly life is weird

2009-11-21T14:16:00.002+08:00

In poly life is seriously weird.
One moment you are so dead bored because you seriously have nothing better to do.
Next thing everything has piled up so high there is no time to do anything you like.
This is a seriously sick lifestyle.
Is it really not possible to spilt deadlines so that we handle one step at a time?

To do list by 1st december
-Study for Club and Resort test 20%
-Submit Human Resource Project
-Submit Individual Field Trip report
- Finish Communication Skills research for both normal and online

And than before that i really have nothing better to do.
WTH?

2009-11-20T11:07:00.002+08:00

Somedays go by so fast,
Somedays go by so slowly.
Somedays i just feel damn upset over the smallest things.
Somedays the smallest of things makes me happy.

Today is a good day because i choose it to be a good one.
May fate play its partand let me have my final wish.
May i just meet her on the streets and just let her have it.

I got the feeling that today is gonna be a good day.
Yeah!